I Corinthians 7:1-16 (Click scripture reference for audio access)
"A Word To The Married" • 10.14.12 •
Sunday Morning Service, Calvary Christian Fellowship
Intro.
- Note that
chapter 7 begins with a transition statement.
• I Corinthians 7:1a : " Now
concerning the things of which you wrote to me:"
- With that, we move from the things that Paul
had heard from Chloe's household, to what he had read from the Corinthian's
correspondance.
- They had asked him to address several
specific questions, none of which are preserved for us. What we have are Paul's
answers, so we will recreate the questions.
- Those questions form the framework of our
outline and I submit them to you by way of suggestion. Prayerfully, it will
help you to better understand the flow of Paul's teaching here.
I. What Is The Role Of Sex in Life? (v.1-5)
II. What If The Sex Drive Cannot Be Controlled? (v.6-9)
III. When Is Divorce An Option? (v.10-16)
Text
I. What Is The Role Of Sex in Life? (v.1-5)
• I
Corinthians 7:1,2 : "It is good for a man not to touch a woman. Nevertheless, because of sexual
immorality, let each man have his own wife, and let each woman have her own
husband." : The first question seems to have
been rather direct: What is the role of sex in life? Can Christians enjoy any
kind of a sex life?
- Paul answers, "It is a good, honorable
thing for a man not to touch a woman!" Well, there's your answer! Obviously, this translation leaves a
little to be desired on this point.
- This word "touch" here refers to
developing a sexual relationship with the opposite sex, perhaps even to the
point of cohabitation.
- The context, that which comes before and that
which comes after this word deals specifically with sexual impurity, so we can
rightly deduce that Paul is using this word euphemistically.
- It is an honorable thing that a man not
engage himself in sexual activity with a woman. It is right for you, if you are
a single man or a single woman, to abstain from sexual relations.
- The Corinthians were beginning to believe
then that sex in every context was bad, including marital relations.
- But, because of the problem of sexual
immorality, because of the culture which prided itself on the expression of
their sexuality, Paul says let each man have his own wife and vice versa.
- Paul is telling the Corinthians that marital
sex is a deterrent to sexual immorality. Let there be a fulfilling sexual
relationship between married heterosexual partners.
- That is the appropriate environment for a
healthy sex life. This will bear out in a moment, but Paul's point is that if
you must express yourself sexually, then you must consider marriage.
- At that point, sexual expression goes from
being sinful to being spiritual. It goes from being forbidden to be being
encouraged! This is said both to the man and the woman.
- Often, we think that sexual enjoyment goes
one way, but in Corinth, both sexes were commanded to consider this.
- God has designed it for both the man and the
woman. Man is to be sexually fulfilled by his wife alone. He is not to seek it
from any other source.
- Likewise, the woman is to receive her sexual
fulfillment from her husband alone.
• I
Corinthians 7:3 : "Let the husband render to his wife the affection due her, and
likewise also the wife to her husband." :
The husband is to give to his wife the affection, the good will, the
benevolence that is due to her.
- I'm not sure that there is a significance in
the order, but let's say that there is.
- In the discussion of sexuality, there is much
that is made of the wife fulfilling a role for her husband, but Paul begins
where it should begin. Husbands, seek to intimately please your wife!
- Look for ways to be sure that she has
received what it is that she needs! Likewise, in the same way, wives, you are
to seek to intimately please your husband.
- Paul writes this in the present imperative,
meaning that the husband and the wife are to continually, repeatedly seek to
act this way toward one another!
- Both parties are responsible to make sure
that they are fulfilling their marital responsibility.
- The question to ask is "what is the
affection due to them?" How can you best communicate that to your spouse?
What is allowed? What is prohibited?
- The author of Hebrews gives us a great answer
to this question in Hebrews 13:4, when he says, "Marriage is honorable among all,
and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge."
- Anything that is satisfying to your partner,
that is mutually agreed upon, that demonstrates love and is not demeaning, is
wide open. God created it for that very purpose.
• I
Corinthians 7:4, 5 : "The wife
does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does. And likewise
the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. Do not deprive one another except
with consent for a time, that you may give yourselves to fasting and prayer;
and come together again so that Satan does not tempt you because of your lack
of self-control." : The sense of this verse in
context with a marriage, is that neither the man nor the woman can exercise
full authority over their own bodies after they have entered into marital
relations.
- When you get married, you relinquish the
rights to your own body. Before you are married, it's all yours. Afterward, God
looks at it as your spouses property!
- One needs to consider this before getting
married. Am I willing to look at my body as theirs?
- Am I willing to give up my rights and am I
willing to give consistently for their pleasure?
- A spouse's body belongs to their spouse for
the enjoyment of a fulfilling sex life. This is God's intention. This is why He
invented sex therefore, do not deprive one another.
- Don't withhold or keep back physical intimacy
from one another. The same word for withhold is translated elsewhere
"defraud" or "rob." Don't rob your spouse.
- There is an exception and that is an agreed
upon time for fasting and prayer, otherwise, there is not to be an interruption
in activity. This tells us a few things.
- First, the Bible is incredibly relevant.
There are some that use sex as a means of power. They manipulate with it and
reward with it. That is not God's intention.
- Second, physical intimacy is to be a regular
act that is only to be interrupted by time that is devoted agreeably to the
Lord.
- Let me suggest then that this physical act is
just as important as these spiritual acts!
- There are seasons when there is a greater
need for a touch from God, than the need for a touch from our spouse. As a
married couple, you are to seek that together.
- The Corinthians were people who were so sex
crazed that their time away from each other had to be short, otherwise they
would give into the temptations of the enemy.
- The Corinthians especially were lacking in
the ability to control themselves. Today, not much has changed. Married couples
need to consistently be involved intimately with one another.
II. What If The Sex Drive Cannot Be Controlled? (v.6-9)
• I
Corinthians 7:6,7 : "But I say this as a concession, not as a commandment. For I wish that all men were even
as I myself. But each one has his own gift from God, one in this manner and
another in that." : What Paul has recommended
was offered by way of concession.
- He understands that there were some that
needed to be married, but he would never command every one to get married. In
fact, he would have had more people like himself.
- Paul at this time was a single man.
Certainly, there are no scriptures that mention "Mrs. Paul" and one
might question how Paul could have a wife with all that constant travel!
- Some have surmised that Paul had been married
and subsequently abandoned after he had become a believer. Others think that he
might not have yet married when Christ came into his life.
- In any event, his status as a single man was
not a curse to Paul. It was a gift from Him.
- In fact, Paul asserts that being single is as
much a gift as being married! One in this manner, singleness and one in
another, marriage. It's important to understand that.
- I once heard a speaker say that marriage is
like flies on a screen. The ones on the outside want in while the ones on the
inside want out!
- In a moment of divine inspiration, the
Apostle reminds himself and us that whatever God has called us to, we are to
regard as a gift from Him.
•
I Corinthians 7:8,9 : "But I say
to the unmarried and to the widows: It is good for them if they remain even as
I am; but if they cannot exercise
self-control, let them marry. For it is better to marry than to burn with
passion." : For those who are single, Paul
lets them know that it's good for them to remain single.
-
Some might wonder how that could be good! Paul makes the case in the next line.
If they cannot contain themselves, then they should marry.
-
A person with a gift for being single would be one that would be able to
exercise self-control. They are not ones who, as Paul says, are burning wih
passion.
-
They can control themselves. They find themselves able to resist temptation,
able to keep their minds focused in the direction that God sets for them.
-
From what life was like in Corinth, it seemed as though there was no hope of
being a person like this. In California, the same seems to be true.
-
But it is often only true because a lack of knowledge. There are some who are
able to walk in this life and not be stained by the world. If you can do that,
do that to the glory of God!
-
If you are consistently burning with passion then you do not have a gift to
remain single. Keep praying that the Lord would bring a suitable mate into your
life.
III. When Is Divorce An Option? (v.10-16)
•
I Corinthians 7:10,11 : "Now to
the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her
husband. But even
if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband.
And a husband is not to divorce his wife." :
The scripture is abundantly clear when it comes to marriage. It is a covenant
that two people make for life!
-
God's command through Paul was that a woman not depart, nor for a husband to
divorce. The act of marriage is meant to be for life.
-
That means life, despite the seasons of pain and potential betrayal. That means
life, despite feeling like things are not fulfilling any longer. Marriage is a
"LIFE SENTENCE!"
-
Now, please recall to your memory that Paul is not seeking to provide an
exhaustive treatise on marriage here. He does not certainly mean that there are
no circumstances for divorce.
-
Jesus told His disciples in Matthew 19:9
that divorce was permitted upon the occasion of sexual immorality. Paul begins to give another here:
Abandonment.
-
If a woman departs for whatever reason, she is to remain unmarried or reconcile
to her husband. That is the choice before a believing wife.
-
She was not to trade up for a better model or simply leave without counting the
cost of her actions. This meant that she remained alone or recommitted herself
to her husband.
-
I think that it's important to really clarify what it means "to
depart." The word means to separate oneself from. This will culminate in a
physical departure from a marriage.
-
Before that happens, there will be a mental and spiritual departure from a
marriage. Maybe you are there right now.
-
You felt that marriage would be different and that your spouse would finally
change but they haven't. They've remained unresponsive. God says to you,
"Do not depart!"
-
Don't give up! Stay in there another day and keep trying! You hold up your end
of the bargain!
-
In the early days of the church, why would a Christian woman depart or why
would a Christian man divorce his wife? Paul furnishes us with a contemporary
example.
•
I Corinthians 7:12-14 : "But to
the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe,
and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who
does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is
sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband;
otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy." : Here is the context, the story that was going on in Corinth and
in many of the first century churches. Unbelieving married couples were exposed
to the gospel.
-
One of the couple embraced Christ, while the other remained settled as a
non-Christian. it seems that the Corinthians asked Paul about what they were
supposed to do.
-
Because there was no clear mandate, Jesus had not addressed this, so Paul
offers his apostolic authority!
After a marriage was consummated, it was for life.
-
He sets up the first scenario: A brother with an unbelieving wife, but a
willing partner. He's gung ho for Jesus and she has lunch ready for him when he
returns from church!
-
The second scenario is the opposite. A woman goes to women's bible study and
then comes home and watches the rest of the football game with her guy!
-
Paul says in both scenarios that they should remain together in the hopes that
the unbelieving spouse might turn toward the Lord!
-
The one without faith is exposed to holiness and the children are set apart. It's
not far from center to believe that God is giving that unbeliever the best
vantage point.
-
He values them enough to put them in a position to see the gospel lived out in front
of them.
-
They have the best environment in which to believe by having a believer in
their midst.
-
Paul is not saying that a believer that remains will definitively see this take
place. He is saying that if it will take place, this is the best chance of that
happening.
-
Beyond that, consider this amazing statement: The believer sanctifies a wife, but
the children are holy! Paul seems to be asserting that the children of
believers are covered by their faith.
-
This is the only place where one can point with any confidence that a believers
children prior to their own ability to choose, are saved.
-
At the age of accountability, an age that differs with each person and is
therefore unknown, that child can choose for themselves. Before that, the believer's
blessing covers them.
-
What is Paul saying? I'm not thinking that his point is to enter these waters
of theological debate. I believe that he is giving them an extra incentive, to
think beyond themselves.
-
Staying in that marriage to that unbeliever will be very difficult, but
consider the benefit for your children! Your presence covers them.
•
I Corinthians 7:15,16 : "But if
the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under
bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace. For how do you know, O wife,
whether you will save your husband? Or how do you know, O husband, whether you
will save your wife?" : If the unbeliever decides
to abandon the believer, then the believer is to let that be the case and are
free to remarry.
-
Paul puts the onus on the unbeliever. Believer, you had better not be the one
leaving! You have the Holy Spirit living within you, strengthening you and
encouraging you.
-
You have the resource to stay. You have the grace to be in the position that
you are, but an unbeliever has no such resource.
-
An unbeliever has only a human spirit. For them to depart is natural, as they
are slaves to whatever their desires dictate. You cannot change them and you
cannot stop them.
-
Paul is not being callous here. "Just let them go!" The heart is that
you have done everything in your power to remain married.
-
You have held up your part of the bargain, but they are determined to
leave. A believer in that case, is
not chained to the unbelieving spouse that has departed the relationship.
-
Paul is encouraging those believers to stay, noting that salvation, the
greatest gift and the highest goal, might come to their spouse.
-
The goal of every relationship under the sun is salvation! How much more the
marriage of two souls. Who knows O husband! Who knows O wife!
Conclusion
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