Sunday Morning Service

Matthew 19:1-12 (Click title for audio access)

"Mahwage." • 10.21.10 • Calvary Chrisian Fellowship, Sunday Morning Service

Intro.

- Jesus has been explaining the necessity of entering the Kingdom with the humble heart of a child. Last week, we discovered how that principle plays out among His people in the church.

- Jesus ends chapter 18 with a stirring story about forgiveness and leaves us with a stern warning of our need to forgive one another.

- It's no accident that Matthew catalogues that story as the segue that leads us into this chapter, which begins with what our Kingdom response should be toward marriage.

- Marriage is often compared to flies on the screen door. The ones on the inside want out and the ones on the outside want in!

- We enter this chapter understanding that we require His grace to receive what is said, in whatever state we may be today.

Text

• Matthew 19:1-3 : "Now it came to pass, when Jesus had finished these sayings, that He departed from Galilee and came to the region of Judea beyond the Jordan. And great multitudes followed Him, and He healed them there. The Pharisees also came to Him, testing Him, and saying to Him, 'Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for just any reason?'" : Jesus is now very close to Jerusalem and entering into the final months of His earthly ministry.

- Matthew sets the picture that we have seen time and again. Great crowds followed Jesus and He healed them there.

- This is the 6th time in the book of Matthew that this sentiment is found. For your edification, it's found in Matthew 4:23-25, 9:35,36, 12:15, 14:35,36 and 15:30 and 31.

- Wherever Jesus was, there were crowds and His healing power was present. Matthew, by use of repetition, wants us to know this. I feel it's important in this chapter particularly.

- Great ministry is taking place. People are thronging to Christ, always desperate to touch Him. Time is short and Jesus is busy. What a perfect time for the Pharisees!

- They never came to learn. They never came to hear from HIm or receive something authentic from Him. They came "testing" Him. Their intent was to trip Him up, to trap Him with His own words.

- This is the heart of religion: Blind to authentic ministry, but wide eyed toward controversy! In this case, the question they bring regards the subject of divorce.

- It's important to understand that there was quite a controversy in Christ's day stirring about this topic. Basically, there were two camps represented by two Rabbis, Shammai and Hillel.

- The former was conservative, the latter liberal. Shammai contended for divorce but with extreme limitation. Hillel's position was for divorce with no limitation. Hillel was much more popular!

- Those who followed his teachings would divorce a woman if "she spoiled his dinner, if she spun, or went with unbound hair, or spoke to men in the streets, if she spoke disrespectfully of his parents in his presence, of she was a brawling woman whose voice could be heard in the next house." Quoted in Guzik

- One other Rabbi went so far as to say that you could divorce a woman if you found another woman who was more beautiful to you.

- So as you can see, divorce was the same then as it is today. We just call it "irreconciliable differences!"

- You'll note the immediate cultural bias in their question: "Is it lawful for a man..." Women were treated like property. This is what made divorce, disposable.

- The Pharisees were not looking for clarity from the law or charity for women. They wanted to get Jesus to commit to one of the current rabbinic positions.

- Some have commented that they wanted to goad Jesus into an answer in order to offend Herod, who had killed John the Baptist for His statements on the subject.

- Either way, His answer could alienate Him from one of the factions. Don't worry, Jesus wins!

• Matthew 19:4-6 : "And He answered and said to them, 'Have you not read that He who made them at the beginning ‘made them male and female,’ and said, ‘For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh’? So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate.'" : I love when Jesus answers the Pharisees, "Have you not read!"

- They had read the Word, even memorized it, but had not come close to it's meaning, nor was there a desire to honor it in truth!

- There is another rebuke here: These Pharisees wanted to see what Jesus thought of the two predominant rabbinic theories of their day. God says that His Word is the authority they should heed!

- We need to be careful of this ourselves! "Did you hear what so and so says about such and such?" What did God say? That's the question we should ask!

- Jesus quotes here from Genesis 1 & 2. Apparently, He didn't get the memo about Genesis not being inspired! The authority that Jesus refers to when it comes to marriage is Genesis.

- He explains what they had already known, but turns on the lights, to show them it's meaning.

- God made them male and female. He made them for each other. It was His idea. God purposed in that distinction, to create the institution of marriage.

- Because of what God had created, there shall be a separation and a uniting.

- Man is to leave, literally, "leave behind," His Father and Mother. This new relationship is going to take precedence even over blood relation!

- Then, there is the uniting and this is important. He is to be "joined to his wife." Literally, to be glued together! They are two individuals who lose themselves, in terms of individuality, in marriage.

- Both are looking toward a common road, traveling together in a single direction. This is what it means to be "one flesh." A married couple is tied together in every way possible.

- This is something that God does in the hearts of two people. He has joined them together.

- Marriage is not a social commitment or a civil agrement. It is a spiritually binding experience.

- Now, at this point, Jesus uses a different word for "joined." It's not glued as before, but is rather "yoked together," like two animals who are united to plow a field.

- When you marry a mate, you are gluing yourself to them. That is your intention. God's intention is to yoke you together with your spouse for the purpose of ministry.

˚ "Among the ancients, when persons were newly married, they put a yoke upon their necks, or chains upon their arms, to show that they were to be one, closely united, and pulling equally together in all the concerns of life." Adam Clarke

- Like them or not, God has yoked you to your spouse and that's no yoke!

• Matthew 19:7 : "They said to Him, 'Why then did Moses command to give a certificate of divorce, and to put her away?'" : Oh, these Pharisees thought that they got Jesus this time! I can imagine one of the Pharisees thinking this one up and then giving a hi-five!

- "Yeah, we got Him this time!" This reminds me of the guy who makes his one great chess move, calls "mate," only to find that his square is guarded by 4 different pieces!

- The Pharisees were partially correct. Procedures were adopted in the Mosaic law in the event of a divorce. This is found in Deuteronomy 24:1-4. Listen to the words there.

• Deuteronomy 24:1-4 : "When a man takes a wife and marries her, and it happens that she finds no favor in his eyes because he has found some uncleanness in her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, when she has departed from his house, and goes and becomes another man’s wife, if the latter husband detests her and writes her a certificate of divorce, puts it in her hand, and sends her out of his house, or if the latter husband dies who took her as his wife, then her former husband who divorced her must not take her back to be his wife after she has been defiled; for that is an abomination before the Lord, and you shall not bring sin on the land which the Lord your God is giving you as an inheritance."

- The question in Christ's day was centered around the interpretation of the word "uncleanness." What did that mean?

- The school of Shammai believed it to be sexual immorality alone. Hillel believed it to be any indiscretion, even the burning of a husband's toast!

- Their issue however, was not that Moses commanded them or compelled them to divorce. The law does not condone divorce; It seeks to control it. This was the Pharisee's error.

- The presence of the law did not force divorce. Jesus explains...

• Matthew 19:8 : "He said to them, 'Moses, because of the hardness of your hearts, permitted you to divorce your wives, but from the beginning it was not so."

- I like the NLT's version:

• Matthew 19:8 (NLT) : "Jesus replied, 'Moses permitted divorce as a concession to your hard-hearted wickedness, but it was not what God had originally intended."

- The law was written because of the hardness of their hearts.

- The sense here is that people had begun to de-value their spouses because they were hard hearted toward God, which inevitably leads to being hard hearted toward each other.

- Sometimes the one offending is hard hearted and won't repent. Sometimes the offended one is hard hearted and refuses to forgive and reconcile. Sometimes both parties are just done!

- God, knowing this capacity that we have, allowed this law to be written in. His standard for marriage has not changed, even though divorce is a reality.

- God created marriage to be life long, filled with joy and fidelity. This was why He created it. This was His intention fro the beginning.

- Beside that, where would Adam and Eve go! Where would they turn?

• Matthew 19:9 : "And I say to you, whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery; and whoever marries her who is divorced commits adultery." : Now, Jesus makes a statement that is heard around the world. It is sweeping, but must be understood in context.

- God recognizes that there are choices made that break the covenant seal. Because of sin, in this case, sexual immorality, divorce will exist.

- Sexual immorality is a breaking point which is a point of no return for many couples. The word for sexual immorality is a broad term used in the Greek language.

- It is where we get our word "pornography" from, in that pornography covers all sorts of impurity, not just infidelity.

- There are two schools of thought regarding this phrase. The predominant one regards adultery being the manifestation of sexual immorality. Adultery is prohibited in the Mosaic law.

- Leviticus 20:10 tells us that both the man and the woman caught in adultery were to be executed. In their day, this meant a public stoning.

- The other thought that is considered regards the sexual history of one of the persons involved. In other words, if there was some misrepresentation, their could be a divorce.

- The only other recognized way of out marriage is death; Just don't be the one to cause it! The final exception is given by the Apostle Paul, which we'll get to in a moment.

- Now, even in the case of sexual immorality, this does not mean that a couple MUST divorce.

- There are many couples that have survived infidelity or immorality and thrive today, because they returned one to another. They have softened their hearts towards each other.

- Now, Jesus actually answers their initial question. The question had been "Can a man divorce his wife for just any reason?" Jesus has said, "No."

- The Apostle Paul adds one more. Turn with me over to I Corinthians 7.

• I Corinthians 7:10-15 : "Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: A wife is not to depart from her husband. But even if she does depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband. And a husband is not to divorce his wife. But to the rest I, not the Lord, say: If any brother has a wife who does not believe, and she is willing to live with him, let him not divorce her. And a woman who has a husband who does not believe, if he is willing to live with her, let her not divorce him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; otherwise your children would be unclean, but now they are holy. But if the unbeliever departs, let him depart; a brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases. But God has called us to peace."

- If a believer is abandoned by his unbelieving spouse, then remarriage is possible.

- A person divorced civily from a person apart from these exceptions, is still married in the sight of God! He considers the covenant made, permanent.

- The promise that was made, was made to the Lord first, and then to each other. If there is no cause for divorce, then a person who marries another is committing adultery.

- They now involve that person who marries them in adultery as well.

• Matthew 19:10-12 : "His disciples said to Him, 'If such is the case of the man with his wife, it is better not to marry.' But He said to them, 'All cannot accept this saying, but only those to whom it has been given: For there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother’s womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven’s sake. He who is able to accept it, let him accept it.'" : Somehow, the Pharisees are gone. They don't even reply. Jesus has authoritatively described the law and exposed God's intention regarding marriage.

- The disciples understand the severity of what Jesus has just said.

- "It is better to remain single and celibate rather than mess with the possibility of divorce!" Well said. Jesus says, "i'll go you one further, but this isn't for everyone!"

- A Eunuch is a castrated man, which was common in ancient times for various reasons. The eunich provides Jesus with a metaphor for those who may opt for celibacy.

- Some eunuchs were born in that condition. The same is true of some people. Some were born with no real desire to couple.

- They are fine being alone and are usually too occupied in life to slow down for a relationship. Marriage is just not part of their DNA.

- Others became eunuchs at the hands of men. Physically, this could be due to injury or the taking of an official position within a kingdom where men needed to be considered "safe."

- Again, this is forced upon them by men. Some people are occupied in careers that prohibit marriage.

- But then there is a third category. There were men who emasculated themselves for the sake of the Kingdom of heaven.

- Some throughout history have decided to remain unmarried so as to give their full attention to the needs of the Kingdom of God. The Apostle Paul fits into this category and for this reason:

• I Corinthians 7:32-35 : "But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord—how he may please the Lord. But he who is married cares about the things of the world—how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world—how she may please her husband. And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction. "

- There are some who will make this decision to declare their intentions to serve God wholeheartedly. Wow!

- By the way, those who make this are those who can successfully deny themselves. Otherwise, Paul wisely adds, "It is better to marry than to burn with passion!"

- Not all can accept it, but all who can, should consider it!

˚ "If there be any who can receive this saying, who can without marriage bridle his lust, and so live in a solute and single state as not to sin against God by any extravagancy of lusts, and impure desires and affections, and desire, and shall do so, that he may be more spiritual, and serve God with less distraction, and be a more fit instrument to promote the kingdom of God in the world, let him do it.'" Matthew Poole

Conclusion

- A few words to close: If you are married, cherish your spouse and recognize God's hand in bringing you together. Ask Him for a soft heart.

- If you are in a difficult marriage, remember how this chapter started: There is a need to forgive and Jesus is present to heal!

- For those who are single, noting how difficult marriage is, you will want to dedicate yourself more surely to the Lord, so that He might bring you the person He intends.

- Until then, you will live celibately and while you have that opportunity, use the time wisely. Serve God wholeheartedly!

- Do for Him now what you have always wanted, as the time may be shorter than you think.